Weight Loss Progress

Monday, July 30, 2012

Why Do Things Happen?

We can plan for things. Try to do our best to plan and make things as efficient and effective as possible.Yet for some reason-that is completely external to your doing- it will make all of your planning pointless.

Why is this?

Now this can happen in any aspect of your life. Health, fitness, financial, paperwork, work, traffic, etc. But why does it happen and how should we react to it? Is there any way to react to it that is effective? Or is it best to just find a way to deal. To learn from what is happening and to practice patience and acceptance and move on with our lives until things fall back into place.

I am not a Church-going person, but I am spiritual. I believe. I do BELIEVE! I believe there is a greater being and a path that is planned for each of us. I believe that everything happens for a reason- even reasons that we do not understand. Perhaps somethings never really being fully understood without serious detachment from the issue- and who can really detach from some issues (for this I think of sudden loss of a loved one, etc).

But for the most part, there are lessons to be learned and paths that need to be taken that at the time might not be exactly where in our minds we want to go. I mean in my situation of starting a family and being in a lesbian relationship- it is not as easy as it is for some families. Things happen. We can plan to go from Point A to Pregnant(Point B) to Birth(Final Destination), but unfortunately that is not life. There are steps in the middle just from Point A to Pregnant(Point B) that are tiresome, stressful, and at the times heart wrenching. But we must learn from all of these things. We must assess what it is that we really want, are there other paths from Point A to Point B to the Final Destination that we are just not seeing because of this giant blind spot in the vehicle we are driving in the journey.

Are we so focused on the final destination that we are missing a whole bunch of fun sights along the way? Should we just try to enjoy the ride to the final destination? Should we get a new vehicle or take a bus or train on our journey to the final destination of our trip?

Sometimes one may even ask, "why are we on this path to this destination in the first place", but in my case I would never ask that because I love and want this final destination- but in my case my final destination is a family and child, so it is a bit different to our life situations.

I love my wife with all of my heart. She is my best friend. My soulmate. She wants a child more than anything and I want to share that experience and raise a child of our own together. As we travel down the road in this trip to the final destination it is important for us to keep in mind that when a road has construction on it, we can't start crying and swearing like sailors (sorry Steve) at the construction workers, but rather we need to turn up the music, open the window (if whether permits), and enjoy the company of each other as we wait to pass the construction site. While perhaps posting a few Facebook updates/pics of our journey and sharing our lives with our loved ones.

I guess the central point of what I am writing about is that things happen for a reason. We may not know the reason or understand it at that point, but everything will work out for the best in the end. But as we endure and experience these "things" that are "happening" to us, we need to enjoy it (as hard as it may seem) because the traveling from "things" to "things" are what makes up the story of our life in the end.

I leave you with the following: "Enjoy the moments in your journey, because those moments are what make up our life".

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Getting Back on My BandWagon- 7/26/12

My name is Ashley and I have fallen off the bandwagon for the past three months.

I have been eating all the stuff (cookies, chips, donuts, cakes, etc) that has gotten me fat in the past and it has does so again now. I have gained some weight in the past few months and am hovering at a number that I do not like.

I need to get my shit in order. I am going to see Dr. Flock on Wednesday August 1st and am going to get my first fill- a big one I hope! I need it!

I also need to practice some self control. I also need to address the issues that are bothering me and making me slip back into my old ways. The issue is that I am not finding other things to do when I am worried/stressed/tired/bored/etc than eat. I need to go back to finding other things to do.

But to be honest I also need to make sure that I make good decisions throughout the day. I need to track my calories- hello again, LoseIt! I need to exercise daily (I have been sporadic at best).

I have found something that I really enjoy doing- Standup Paddle boarding (SUP from here on out) and I still have P90X and other BB programs.  I just need to do something everyday. No excuses.

I do not want to be one of the weight loss surgery people who gain their weight back. AND I WON'T BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! Sorry for yelling there. But, if anything this has taught me over the past two months that we all have demons that we need to fight daily. That perhaps I need to find a way to manage my problems with sugar and emotional eating that it causes other than just saying "I will never eat sugar again!"While although that is a good stance, it is not realistic. And it should not take me one donut to go off the deep end like a freshly out of rehab crack-head at a crack party.

I need to always focus on my health and continuously monitor my emotions and before every bit ask myself "why am I going to eat this? am i really hungry?".

Well, I have been contemplating of writing this post for a while. This is like coming back to the AA group after falling off and admitting that I do not have my stuff fully together after all.

I am still better than where I was a year ago, but I am not better than where I was three months ago. And that enrages me. But I must move on, get over, put on my big girl panties (adult not plus size) and continue down the path of healthy eating and healthy living. This time though I am going to work on a real-life plan. A plan that will include some healthy whole grains, moderational treats, but still focusing on protein first and the WLS Rules (I mean really where the hell have they been in my life for the past three months). I am going to dust off my rules now and get back to work on them.

My name is Ashley and I have issues with food, sugar, and emotional eating.

Friday, June 15, 2012

I Am Still Alive

Hello World!

I am still alive and well. It has been a long while.....over six months a while since my last post.

I have been floundering.... well I was doing really well until the month of May and then I started to go back to some of my old ways.

Being that summer (I'm a teacher) is starting for me on the 21st of June I am ready to get back on the horse and keep trucking to my destination of 142lbs.

I have recently purchased Beachbody's Les Mill Pump program and will being doing that program until I have a small foot surgery on July 16th. Then I will have to take two to three weeks off of the program and rest.

I have realized that like always when I am doing well and getting into eating well I suddenly decide to "switch it up" and that historically and currently results in me fucking up. Back in 2005 after losing 80+ lbs I decided that I was going to eat more "like the French do" and so I started incorporating butter and cheese and bread.....and there went the decent of that healthy living binge.

Recently, I started looking into Paleo dieting. Which is pretty close to how I WAS eating except it eliminates processed foods, dairy, beans, peanuts, and adds in more fat -particularly natural forms of fat (even saturated meat fat).
By "looking into" the Paleo diet I have sort of been allowing myself to flounder and for some reason I have hit the sugar truck- hard- again. I NEED TO GET OFF OF THE SUGAR! Need to!

So tonight I have sat down with Josie and started talking about what made us successful last summer and compared that to what we are currently doing. The differences are clear- I need to go back to my roots. I need to focus on my health and making good decisions daily.

I have come up with a list of seven power points that I will be focusing on for the next two weeks and see how many pounds I can lose in that time.

The seven power points are:

1. Protein First @ every meal and snack.
2. Eat whole foods (as much as possible, while maintaining point 1)
3. Low sugar and low carb
4. Log food on LoseIt daily and keep calories to under 1200 calories.
5. Move daily (this will focus on the Les Mill Pump program for now)
6. Drink 100oz of water daily
7. Take my vitamins

These are seven points that I will rate myself on each day. And I will post here how I am doing on the seven points each day. 7stars will equal great day while anything less than four stars will be considered a poor day.

Look back tomorrow for an update and how I am doing. I am going to need to start a sugar detox, so I know I will be feeling shitty- but we all must do things that are not too fun to make ourselves better.

And Monday begins my Les Mill Pump first workout. Gotta get back on this horse. I have come to far to reverse in anyway- at all! Let's do this!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm Back!

Hello Everyone!

Let me apologize I am sorry. I have left the blogging world for over one month and December was a month of a slight gain, no major relapse, but I gained about four pounds. I am in the low 170's and know that after a good solid week of no carbs/sugars I will be back into the 160's.

But I am sorry to leave you all hanging. December was a busy busy month. It is weird how December comes and everything else starts flying-time, no sugar rules, etc.

I also had a cold for three weeks straight and I am finally feeling well again. I got some Nasonex at the doctors, but I had been living off of Mucinex and Vicks NatureFusion Nighttime (awesome by the way, I slept like a rock).

As for the diet, I have had a hard time getting off the carbs consistently since relapsing over Christmas time, but today I know that I am back. The culinary teachers at work brought cookies to our meeting AND............

I did not have one! Amen! My will power has re-entered the building! I was missing you Will!

I came home and took Moji for a walk today and have my bag packed for the gym (after work, no excuses) tomorrow. I need to get back on that damn exercise train! As long as I get some cardio in and start doing it again I will be happy.

I am cooking a nice dinner of Chimmicurri Salmon and a baby vegetable medley. No refined carbs or sugar here! I will finish off the night with some apples with peanut butter.

Got some cardio in, stayed within my calories, and stayed refined carb free.

Now to work on getting in my water.

Everyday is a new chance to stay on my plan and become a better me.

I'm here and bring it! Less than thirty pounds till I reach my goals of 142lbs, and I want to get there before my bandiversary - April 21st! I can do it!