Today is Sunday and that means that in my family it is Sunday Dinner. My mother, an awesome cook, made a great "summer style" meal of grilled chicken, potato salad, tuna pasta salad, cole slaw, and corn. For dessert it was pound cake with berries or pudding cake. It looked like an awesome meal, smelled like an awesome meal, and everyone said that it was an awesome meal.
I ate Cream of Mushroom soup and Jell-O with a little milk mixed in. I do not mind being around all of the good food. I know that at this point I can not have it, so I do not. It is not a problem. What worries me in the back of my mind is that although it is not a problem now, what about when I can have a piece of chicken(without skin of course)?
Will I mentally be ok with 2oz of meat? I mean we know for a fact that I can make it physically as I have been on liquids for over three weeks and have not died yet. But, there is still such a mental aspect to this and although 70% of the time I think I have a grasp on it right now, I still worry about once I can start eating food and my ability to control my own form of demons.
I am beginning to wonder if on top of my nutritionist appointment I plan on making for this week if I should make an appointment for the Behavior Psychologist for sometime soon. I am going to a 0-6 month Post-Op Support Group on Tuesday at Norwalk Hospital and Josie said she would go with me for support. She is so very sweet. I know the majority of this is mental and I need to address this, because I will not fail. There is no going back this time!
Goodnight everyone. I am going to bed early because I am waking up at 5am tomorrow. I want to get used to getting up at that hour so that I can make time for making breakfast and eating breakfast (30 minutes allotted to eat a meal) starting on Thursday when I can move onto the Pureed Stage!
Off to bed I go. Till tomorrow. <3