Hello, my name is Ashley I had the Lap Band 13 days ago and my last food bender is one day shy of one month ago. That is sort of how the meeting started, I went to my first post-op support group yesterday at Norwalk Hospital. The support group I felt was really interesting and very worthwhile. I was the only one there out of seven that had the Lap Band, but the information and psychological assistance we need are all the same.
One of the things that was stressed in this meeting is that what you did before needs to be put behind you. I need to stop obsessing about my fears of binging or not being able to stop at one piece of chicken or whatever it is on my mind. I need to live in the present and concentrate on what I am eating today, not what I have done pre-band.
This is a really important idea for me to grasp my head around. Josie says that I am stressing myself out about potential things, whereas if I concentrate on the now and focus on good eating habits, slowing myself down during eating, and finding other outlets for myself then eating I will be better off.
One lady talked about her favorite thing before surgery being Tab soda. She said she would get 5 cases delivered to her house each month by the distributer. And post surgery we can all no longer have soda or carbonated beverages, so goodbye Tab. She continued on about how it was a relaxing time for her, to have her break at work or after work where she would open her soda, get her glass, hear the popping of the soda can when opening it, etc. The process to her was therapeutic- along with the fact that the caffeine would shortly be in her system.
As I sat there listening to this lady I subconsciously started smiling, the group leader asked me what I was smiling about. I was smiling because I had been thinking about Double Stuffed Oreos and my invention - the Doublestuffedtini. The Doublestuffedtini is a mini martini class from Pier One with one double stuffed a little milk to cover the Oreo and then a dollop of cream on top. I would sip the milk and cream, while swirling the Oreo around the small glass like they do on movies, and then when all the milk was gone I would eat the Oreo like a shot. I swear Double Stuffed Oreos to me are like crack or heroin, instantly upon eating one I would feel the rush and the beauty sweep over me- and then all hell would break loose. I would follow up the Oreos with, logically, some more Oreos and then chocolate balls or chocolate bars, or anything I could get my hands on. Then when I had enough chocolate/sweets I would suddenly need something salty and then when I was done with the salt I would move back to "just one more Double Stuffed Oreo".
The memory of this makes me realize that I am better off without sugar, for now at least. Eventually, maybe a year or so down the line I can try to have a Double Stuffed again. Not now. I do not want to go on a bender. But, after yesterday I am not worried about it. I just have to live in the now, practice my good eating habits, eat slower, eat more consciously, and maybe take some pointers from Weight Watchers and their behavior management tactics.
Tomorrow I start the Stage 3 Diet: Pureed Food and I also meet with the nutritionist at 4pm in Fairfield. I know that I can have eggs (or an egg) scrambled, so I may have that tomorrow morning if I am feeling adventurous. Or I may wait till after I meet with the nutritionist, but I must be honest the idea of an egg right now does sound really nice. I am highly looking forward to the egg and pureed food.
I am really starting to feel better. I am looking forward to making more progress both physically and psychologically. Moving forward and not looking back!